thankful#92: playdates

Kinsley had a playdate today with three of the boys from her class (and all of their younger siblings for a total of 8 little humans running around!).  It's so nice to see her get to have that social interaction in an unstructured setting where they can just play however they want and I can watch it from the side. It amazes me how she has developed just in the last few months - suddenly she is good at sharing, cooperating, and playing WITH other kids. They played trains, marbles, cars, hide-and-seek, and had lunch. She included Dagny in the fun and she was polite but held her own with the boys. Definitely a proud-mama-moment.

thankful#91: justin

Today is a big birthday for Justin - such a dear friend of OVER 15 YEARS! He's one of those rare people who I feel as though I can be 100% truly, honestly myself with and he will not only not judge me, but he will be just as honest in return. He has seen me through some of my worst periods and has helped me through some of my ugliest. He will give it to me straight, tell me like it is, and be completely truthful even if it may not be what I am hoping to hear. He pushes me to be a better person even when he doesn't realize that he is. It is crazy to think that I have known him longer than I haven't. I am so thankful that we have stayed friends throughout the years and all of the twists and turns that our lives have taken us through. I miss seeing him each day, but when we do get together, nothing has changed - we pick up right where we left off.  Such a great guy, a great friend, and I am truly thankful. Happy birthday, buddy.

thankful#90: "How to Miss a Childhood"

I came across a blog post late last night after putting Kinsley to bed titled "How to Miss a Childhood". I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. I think it has stuck with me because I have been thinking about this very thing quite a bit lately anyway. I see people on their phones at every point throughout my day: at the playground when their kids are running around, in the locker room at the pool, in their cars, while walking around in the grocery store, even in the entryway of Kinsley's preschool building. I've noticed streams of posts on facebook on people's walls that span hours of the day, meaning that they are constantly updating. It makes me sad. I've thought about how thankful that I am that I don't have a fancy phone - I CAN'T be surfing the internet or chatting on facebook or exploring pinterest or checking my email at all hours of my day. This blog post talks about just that - deciding that being on your phone is more important than being truly present in each moment of your day and, therein, missing life - specifically, those of your children.

Read the whole post here.

When I was reading it, I couldn't help but continue to think how thankful I am that I don't have a fancy phone. Sure, I text my friends throughout my day, but I try not to ever put it before what I'm doing with the girls. That's why there will be 20 minute gaps between my texts - I do it when I can fit it in. I don't answer my phone when it rings if I'm reading the girls a story or eating a meal with them and I certainly don't text when I'm in the car. Really, I rarely talk on the phone at all.

But then I got to the bottom and read this line in regards to the purpose of the post:

My hope is that this post inspires one person to become aware of how often he or she uses the phone (or computer) in the presence of a child.

Two words caught my attention and immediately gave me a knot in my stomach: "or computer". I'm guilty! I may not have my phone on me at every moment of my day, I may not be on facebook when I'm also at the playground, I may not be pinteresting when I'm walking Kinsley home from school, but I'm guilty of having lost moments because I've been on my computer. I've sat down at the computer while the girls are watching their reading video so that I can shoot out a few emails. I've set them up to read books or color for 15 minutes so that I can set up an upload of pictures to Costco or even facebook and then I return to read or color with them, but that's 15 minutes that I've lost with them. It's 15 minutes that they see me at the computer and not with them. And for what? So that Costco has my pictures sooner? I won't be printing them anytime soon, so what's the rush?! And why do I need to check my email when the girls are around? I'm not working a job that needs to communicate anything to me during the day. Sure, it's nice to be able to run to the computer really quickly to look something up - a quick how-to for a recipe, directions to a playdate, make sure I'm not missing something on our calendar, or even the answer to a question of Kinsley's that I don't have in my head. But I don't need to do personal things when they're around. There are moments most days where I have a tiny chunk of time to myself when Kinsley is at school and Dagny is napping (on those days she decides to) - those are the times that I should be using to check my email. When they are tucked into their beds at night - that's when I should be uploading my pictures and logging my runs.

I didn't even have a cell phone until my sophomore year of college and I certainly didn't have internet that was fast enough to want to be on the computer for anything other than writing papers for school (or IMing with Kevin because that's when we had to actually pay by the minute for a long-distance phone call, but that's a whole different post). Now this type of technology has become a huge part of everyday life. It's a little ridiculous to think of the role that it plays in our day-to-day and even hour-to-hour or minute-to-minute communication and relationships with the people in our lives. Until I read this post I didn't realize just how it was taking away from my attention to Kinsley and Dagny - I'd thought about it, but it just didn't click.

I am still thankful that I don't have a fancy phone. I am also thankful, though, that I've realized that I do take moments away from the girls to be on my computer - and that's just as bad if not worse. I've likely missed some precious moments that I will never get back. But I'll be damned if I'm going to miss any more merely because I'm staring at a computer screen instead of my girls.

So, Rachel Macy Stafford, mission accomplished. And thank you.

thankful#89: bachelor night with kinsley

kinsley and i were out running errands this evening and got home pretty late. i felt like we didn't have a lot of relaxing, snuggle time so i decided to let her stay up and lay on the couch with me and watch the bachelor (this was the first episode that i've seen this season - it's not like i kept her up against her will so that i didn't miss it - i have nothing invested ... yet). she curled up on my lap wearing one of my t-shirts.

night vision shot

love this cheesy little smirk

can't get enough

she fell asleep snuggled up on my chest and i carried her to her bed ... but not before just sitting and staring at her sweet little face for a little bit longer.

thankful#88: Muscle Relief Blend

My newest obsession in my health kick (which is really no longer just a "kick" as I'm going on about 4 years of being hyper-aware of what I'm putting on and into my body) is essential oils. I got a bunch of them for Christmas, including a couple of synergistic blends from Mom and Dad - Respiration and Muscle Relief.

Yesterday, right before my run, I noticed that all of the sudden (literally it was a sudden twang) my right calf felt really strained. I hadn't done anything abnormal - no sudden movements, no strange motions, no extra weight, nothing. But it REALLY hurt. Right in the belly of the muscle. All I could think was "of course my legs are going to start acting up a week before a race." Next Sunday is the Zena Road Race, which was my first race post-Dagny. I have been really looking forward to seeing how far I've come in a year of training and I've really been hoping to have a good day in terms of how my body feels (no side aches, no muscle tweaks, just let me run and see where my fitness is at). So of course something stupid like a calf strain would pop up and force me to take unwanted rest days. I thought, though, that it would likely loosen up during my run so I did my 45-minute fartlek. I had to stop twice to stretch that calf - it hurt the entire run. So frustrated.

BUT, then I remembered my Muscle Relief - a synergistic blend of peppermint, eucalyptus, tea tree, and lavender. I made a little massage oil with a couple of teaspoons of coconut oil and a few drops of the blend and dug it into my calf right before bed. Literally, within a few minutes, I could feel the pain letting up. When I woke up this morning I had the typical whole-body soreness that comes after a hard run/workout ... everywhere EXCEPT my right calf! There? No pain. No strained feeling. Nothing. Fantastic. Ran 6.3 today and didn't feel it once. I made another little massage oil and had Kevin dig it into my calf tonight, just for good measure.

I love essential oils.

thankful#87: HOT MAMMAS UNITE workouts

a group of us has decided that it would maybe be a good idea to do a weekly workout in the community room here in our apartment complex. we'll switch it up between tabada, yoga, pilates, jillian michaels' booty kicker, and whatever else sounds fun. the community room is so great. there's not much to it, but it's huge, has a very large TV with DVD player (and cable!), tons of space for the kids to run and climb, and it's easy to reserve.

we had our first session today. we've definitely already walked away with a few lessons:

1. 4:30 is maybe too late if we're going to have the kids with us. this time of day is much too close to, if not right at, meltdown mode for most of them. earlier in the day will likely be better.
2. if later in the day is necessary due to schedules or the room already being reserved, bring something for the kids to do. skuuts or trikes, maybe? balls to kick around? something.
3. the community room floors are not clean. workout/yoga mats would be advised.
4. we must figure out how to work the DVD player. one might think that four grown, yet relatively young and technologically saavy women could figure it out. not so. and my tiny 7-year-old computer that randomly pauses during the workout because it's thinking too hard makes for an annoying experience.

we have a week to make some improvements, but all in all i'm excited. and i'm so thankful that i have a group of girls that i want to hang out with who are excited to be active together.

thankful#86: "cheap" laundry

One of the things I miss most about our house in Portland is having our own laundry room - and having it within arms reach whenever I wanted it. It's nice that our apartments have multiple laundry rooms so that we don't have to drive somewhere to get clean clothes, but we do still have to walk out into the cold and pay for each load using only quarters - kind of a pain. BUT, if we have to pay for each load, I'm thankful that it's as "cheap" as it is (obviously not as inexpensive as having our own). I've talked to people who live other places and they pay almost double or more what we do per load. I did four loads of laundry today and could easily do another one tomorrow - that starts to add up quick! Living on pretend money with no income has made me appreciate all of the little ways to save/keep the money that we do have.

thankful#85: a break from diapers

I am so thankful that Kinsley decided that she was ready to be done with diapers before Dagny was born. I actually had almost two months where I didn't have to change a diaper. Kinsley was still using them at night, but I'll take that any day over the constant changing during the day. I am even more thankful that I didn't have two kids in diapers at the same time. I know people do it. I know I could have done it. But I'm thankful that I didn't have to. It feels like all you do is feed and change a new baby anyway; the last thing I can imagine wanting to do between baby diaper changes is change a toddler's diaper. That little break gave me a tiny glimpse into what it will be like to be done with diapers  .... aaaahhhhhhh ...

thankful#84: baby isaac arrived!

he stayed in there just long enough for christina to get everything that she needed to be "ready" for his arrival. her shower was saturday, her water broke yesterday afternoon, and he was born this morning around 12:30am. i haven't had a chance to talk to her for any details - i'm doing my best to leave them alone to their new family of FOUR and get settled and rested ... even though it is KILLING me and taking every ounce of patience that i have to not go over there and sneak my head in for just a little peek of that little bundle. chris sent a picture and he's absolutely darling, but i want the real thing! and even though i don't have any stats or details, chris said that things went very smoothly ... how can we not be thankful for that? welcome, baby isaac!!!

thankful#83: friends who know the right thing to say

i had a bit of a rough day. nothing particular happened - the girls were in great moods and played together nicely, i had a good run, kevin was home from school at a decent time. but for some reason i was in a personal funk. i'm able to get past these when they come and not let them affect my day in terms of how i am with the girls, which is good. but i also know that i need to deal with it for myself and do that in a healthy way. that's where it's nice to have friends who know exactly the right thing to say to make me feel good again. and not just blow smoke up my butt, but really get me to turn my thoughts around and bring positive energy back. that's what happened today. and i'm thankful.

thankful#82: "how bad do you want it?"

There are days when running is a little (or maybe a lot) harder than others. On days like these, I become more reliant on my ipod and the current selection of tunes to give me that little extra push I need to get me through my workout. Sometimes it's just an easy 3-miler that I'm struggling with, other times it's a longer 2-hour run, and other times it's a workout on the track or on the hill. Whatever the case may be, I somehow seem to get lucky and always hear just what I need to keep me going just a little longer. Sometimes it's Britney that pops up and gives me a little kick. Other days I get a little hop from Blackalicious or Outkast. Sometimes it's a throwback to 'NSync or even a little Bell Biv Devoe and "Poison". Today it happened to be Tim McGraw's "How Bad Do You Want It?". I was on my second-to-last interval on the hill and about ready to call it early --- I ran long yesterday, was only supposed to do an easy 3 today but decided I could use a little strength from the hills, and it was so cold that I felt as though some of my critical running joints were starting to freeze solid. That song came on and I literally asked myself "How bad DO I want this? Do I really want this PR? Do I really want to run that fast?" It may be cheesy, but it worked. Yes, I want to run that fast and I won't get there if I quit early. I finished my intervals and did one extra for good measure.

Thanks, Tim.

thankful#81: a successful baby shower for christina!

really, it's a good thing that her expectations weren't too high. abbey, melissa, and i had a lot of fun planning the little shin-dig for christina, but we probably should have done a little more -- like gotten together to make sure that everything actually went together (luckily, it ended up looking just fine), or actually gone in to the room to see what we would be working with, or showed up more than 30 minutes before the party started to get things set up. but i think it turned out well nonetheless. and there was a fantastic showing of support. christina's mom was there along with her mother-in-law and her grandmother-in-law who both drove over from bend that morning. she also had a friend drive over from bend and one from portland along with a good number of her eugene friends. it was such a testament to the type of person that she is. she has been so wonderful to our family and i am so thankful that they have come into our lives. isaac is one lucky little man to get to enter into this world with a mother like her, a father like chris, and a big sister like taya.

thankful#80: dagny's spunk

this kid gets more attitude with each day. i know that my feelings about it may change when she's 15, and it will likely not be as cute at that point, but for now it provides us with daily laughs. and i just keep reminding myself that it is a good thing that we have such strong-willed girls.

thankful#79: one-on-one outings with kins

we had such a productive afternoon. kinsley came home from school, we had some lunch and jumped into the car (although kinsley would correct me and say that we didn't "jump" into the car because that wouldn't be safe. we "climbed" into the car.). we went to the post office, the bank to make a deposit, the library to return a book, then swung into starbucks for a hot chocolate to enjoy while we sat in the car during our oil change. we then went to pick up some papa murphy's and stopped one more time at trader joe's. kinsley is becoming the best travel buddy. she's getting better and better at getting in and out of the car fast, which makes it much easier. she has fun exploring new places and if i'm with her she has fun talking to the people at each stop. she asks the best questions while we're driving (and always) and she likes to dance to the radio and make her own versions of songs. our trips, big and little, get more and more entertaining. but even more than the entertainment of it, i love spending time with her - just the two of us.

thankful#78: kinsley doesn't repeat EVERYTHING

kinsley repeats, as most kids learning and experimenting with language do, nearly everything that we say. she's always been pretty good with her language, though, even at a very young age. she doesn't just parrot us and repeat verbatim and out-of-context, but she will take what we say and use it, sometimes in her own way, at a later time. for instance, about two years ago we saw our lovely neighbor, suzie, outside in the rain taking care of her plants. suzie is the only person i know who is out in her garden, rain or shine, tending to the tiny details of her garden, her front yard, or some project on her house. i made the comment to kinsley, "suzie is out in the rain trimming her hedges again - crazy lady!" and didn't think twice about it. about two weeks later, we were outside talking with suzie about something completely unrelated and kinsley chimed in to suzie with, "are you crazy?" at which point i had to explain the entire scenario and why my not-even-two-year-old was asking her if she's crazy. sweet suzie just laughed and patted kinsley on the back.

kinsley, dagny, and i made a good-sized trip to costco today. after unloading the car and getting everything mostly put away there were quite a few boxes strewn about - on the counter, on the floor, on the shoe-shelf. i was clearing said boxes from the counter when i bumped a coffee mug onto the floor where it shattered. luckily, the girls were in the living room so there was no danger of any shards hitting them. but i did have a few choice words that flew out as the mug was falling and then again when it hit the ground. i'm not known for my censoring of my mouth - i feel as though there are times when nothing quite does justice to an emotion like a 4-letter word - and i've let those words fly a few times around kinsley. i try not to bring attention to them (yes, i notice when i do it and no, i don't notice beforehand and still intentionally use the words - they just come out) and i try to cover it by continuing on with more appropriate language. kinsley has asked me one time why i used the word "shit", but it was more of a curious question like, "what does that word mean in that context that you just said it? why did you use that word? i've never heard it." other than that, somehow ...  in all of the crazy things that she has said ... she hasn't thrown a 4-letter word out. i think it's in there somewhere, and i'm hoping that when it comes out we're at home (yeah right) so it's easy to talk about with her. but for now, i'm thankful that she hasn't picked up on it and that she doesn't repeat EVERYTHING that she hears me say.

thankful#77: shark mop

i love my shark mop for the same reasons that i love my portable steamer ... confidently clean with no chemicals.

two of my best infomercial purchases :)

thankful#76: shark steam cleaner

with flu season upon us, i am doing everything in my power to keep my family healthy. we eat healthy, we exercise, we get as much fresh air as we can possibly stand in the freezing cold, we wash our hands incessantly. with kinsley and kevin both in school, though, it is inevitable that they're going to bring home germs. that's why i'm thankful for my shark. it's so easy to pull that thing out and steam clean everything from the toilet seat, changing table, and countertops in the bathroom to the counter, drawers, and handles in the kitchen to the girls' toys. and the best part is that there's no chemicals to do it ... just good ol' water. it does just as good a job as any cleaning spray or wipe, but it's totaly safe to use on absolutely everything. i never worry about the girls putting their toys on the table after i clean it because there's still some residue from that spray, or having to wipe the counters down after i clean them because i don't want to put food on them when there's still chemical crap from some cleaning product.

i love my shark.

thankful#75: the internet

how did people feel confident about the decisions that they made before there was such an easy way to research? people definitely didn't go to the library, check out every book (which was updated yearly, monthly, or more), and flip through thousands of pages to get to the right stuff to research every angle of the topics that are so important ... everything from which candidate truly represents your values to which foods are going to provide you with the best health and wellness to whether or not to get a flu shot and other decisions that are crucial to your family. did people really just trust everything that their doctors told them? and believe what the newspaper or news anchors reported? without question or looking into anything any further? i'm so thankful that i have such easy access to so much information. i'm thankful that i can do as much research as i want on whatever topics i want and that i can feel informed and confident about all of the decisions i make for my family and for myself.

thankful#74: our vacuum

when we moved here last year we went out and bought a super cheap little dirt devil. the space we have to maintain is so tiny that i didn't see any need to get a fancy vacuum. it didn't take long, though, to realize that you get what you pay for. i kept noticing crumbs that were left behind or little bits of dirt from shoes that didn't get sucked up. we finally got a middle-of-the-road vacuum - not too fancy but definitely not cheap. it was instantly mind-blowing to see what that thing picked up. not only the crumbs, but the dust, dirt, hair, and god knows what else that is in that filter after each use is disgusting. to think that stuff would have just been left on the ground (& hardly seen with the dark carpets) and crawled on, eaten off of, and played on is horrifying. i am trying to do everything i can to build strong immune systems in my girls and that would not have helped my
cause. im so glad we decided to spend a little more on that thing.

thankful#73: the track out back

This time I mean literally. We lucked out when we were assigned this particular apartment in this complex. Our back yard IS the track. We walk out our back door and the track is probably 10 yards away. I never have a problem finding motivation for a run if I just look out our winder – if the 85-year-old man who is out there running his daily 5-miler can do it, I can at least get out and do SOMETHING. It’s definitely fun to people-watch, but it’s also a great kick in the butt. We’ve also been able to watch a few Olympians do various workouts, which is inspiring to say the last! The girls enjoy watching Kevin or me run intervals and will sit at the fence (or at the window if it’s  pouring) and cheer us on. We wouldn’t have that if we were in any other section of this complex! It also gives us a convenient way to get out some of the girls’ extra energy. They love running.

This video is from last December, so just over a year ago. Kinsley is quite a bit bigger now, and rather than being a little grub in my arms, dagny is now out there with her running her little heart out.

Kyra took video a couple of months ago when she visited of the two of them running – I’ll post it when I get it uploaded.

We love our track.

thankful#72: the track out back

for christmas, kyra wrote kinsley and dagny a story: "the track out back: a story of adventurous sisters". the poetic story is about the girls as they run on a magical track that takes them to spain, costa rica, bend, portland, and yaya and papa's cabin to do all of the things that are special to their family in those places. kyra hand-drew pictures for each page. the story just makes my heart smile when i read it. and even though the story is personal for kinsley and dagny, i think any kid would have fun on the adventure that kyra takes them on. i think she should publish!

thankful#71: thinking of you texts

got a text from a great friend just saying she missed me ... tiny moments like that, just knowing someone is thinking of me, give me a little jolt of happy peace. she has no idea what great timing that was or how much i needed that at that moment.

thankful#70: great news today

in the wake of what seems like a complete whirlwind of horribly tragic things happening, it is an amazing feeling to finally get some good news. it is never easy to play the waiting game, especially when you're waiting for results of a test - and even more so when the test is for health concerns. i have had a terrible knot in my chest for a couple of months now, but we finally got fantastic news today. i can't even describe the sense of relief that is overwhelming me tonight. so so so very thankful.

thankful#69: an extra week of kevin's break

kinsley started school up again, but kevin has another whole week off. we don't have much planned, but it's nice to have a little cushion to get readjusted back in our space before it's all me again. not to mention how excited kinsley is that daddy gets to come with us to and from school!

thankful#68: unexpected hills

kevin took the girls up to grandma billie's and i planned to run up there and meet them. i was supposed to do an easy 3-miler. "easy" to me means flat and a relatively comfortable pace. as many times as i have driven up to grandma billie's, you would think that i would remember the gigantic hills on all sides getting up there. somehow, though, they all seemed less daunting in the car than they did on foot. my "easy" run became one of the most difficult hills i've ever run up! i'm talking a san fransisco-style hill. i never stopped to walk, but i'm pretty sure that i would have actually moved faster if i had. i had just enough bounce in my step to technically call it a run. and that hill is not short. my legs were like noodles when i finally got to the house.

as hard as it was, and even though i didn't intentionally have a hard workout, i know that i'll benefit from it. i can use all the strength in my legs that i can get right now.

thankful#67: "warm" days in january

i didn't run as much as i had planned on running while in portland. i'm starting to get back into my training to prepare for the eugene half, but it's still early enough that i don't have to be hitting the pavement too hard just yet. i want to train hard again this time, but i also don't want to burn out. i'm still at a point where if i am absolutely dreading a workout, i don't do it (thank goodness for yoga classes!). there were multiple days in portland that fell into that category partly because it was just so cold! like i've said before, i'm not a fan of running in horrible weather. and, in my mind, 34 degrees with 20 mph winds is horrible weather. frozen wrists, frozen ears, and cheeks that feel like i fell on a plate of sewing needles is not something i enjoy.

it is amazing how 45 degrees seems amazingly fantastic after that. we're going on 3 solid days of "warm", sunny weather. i'm feeling renewed in my desire to run and i'm beginning to get the itch again!

thankful#66: washable markers

i thought it was such a good idea to lay out a huge sheet of paper and let the girls just go to town with their coloring. but i almost had a heart attack when i heard a small scratching noise and turned around to see this...

it actually happened a little over a month ago, but i am reminded of it every time i walk by the chair that now dons a make-shift cover made from a bed sheet. and, yes, it is now funny ... but only because i was able to get the cushion completely clean.

thankful#65: winter break!

i think i've always probably been thankful for winter break but i think i am even more thankful for it this year. being away from family and friends is hard. i have made some seriously wonderful friends in eugene that have made this whole adventure a lot of fun, but there are times that i miss being able to walk to my parents' house or be 15 minutes from kevin's or be able to go to coffee with friends from elementary school, high school, or even college. we were there for two whole weeks (15 days, to be exact) and we were able to spend so much time with family, see friends who we used to see regularly, and even get together with a few people that we rarely get to see who were also in town for the holidays. as always, our time up there flew by. now we are back in our apartment and attempting to get resituated before kinsley starts school again on monday. thankfully, kevin has another whole week before he starts back up again.

i love winter break.

thankful#64: families that get along

we are not only pretty lucky that our families are close in proximity, making it easy to visit both sides in the same weekend, but that they all enjoy each other's company as well. thursday was our last night in portland for the break and we really wanted to be able to spend time with everyone. so we did! kevin's whole family came over to my parents' house and we all watched the ducks destroy kansas state in the fiesta bowl while eating subway sandwiches. i'm so thankful that we have families that enjoy spending time together!

thankful#63: my warm coat

the wind today is bone chilling - cuts right through you. i am so thankful that i have a warm coat that i can wear when i'm out there. i wish i had enough money to buy 100 winter coats and bring them to people who could really use them on nights like tonight.

thankful#62: a great start to a new year

I met up with a dear old friend this morning for coffee. When my alarm went off at 6:15 it was hard not to hit the snooze button - I am often up that early anyway, but when the girls decide to sleep in I usually go ahead and sleep in with them! I haven't seen Justin in what seems like forever, though, and wasn't about to risk oversleeping. It was a short visit, but it was so nice to get to chat and get a little caught up. And it was so great to see him so happy. I can't imagine a better way to start off the new year.

When I got back to the house, the girls had just woken up and were having a little breakfast. It's only 10:30 and we've already had a dance party, skyped with Inaki in Spain, done some coloring, read some books, and I'm about to go for a run. A productive morning and start to 2013 to say the least.