thankful#61: december squat challenge

Marlo posted a challenge for December that involved daily squats on top of whatever other workout is happening each day. I've been saying for a while now that I need to add some strength training to my running. I've had strength training as part of my workouts for as long as I can remember - high school, college, on my own after - but since having kids I have had limited time for working out and I have to pick and choose what I do. I typically either just run or just do yoga. Rarely do I have the time to run AND do strength or run AND do yoga. I know the importance of strength training and have been talking about finding a way to add it back in to my routine. While this squat challenge was very very simple, and not even intense, it was the good kick in the ass that I think I needed to get started back on strength training. It is amazing how quickly I noticed the effects of even a few body-weight squats each day. Kinsley and Dagny even got in on it with me - Kinsley did as many as 80 squats! Dagny's were more of a smiley bounce, but it was fun to watch her get into it.

thankful#60: the chance to get out tonight

for the second time this week i have had the chance to get out and let loose a little bit with friends. i got dagny to bed after dinner and had kinsley in her pj's, so darby, whit, steve, and i went out to mcpeet's. we met up with rossi, lauren, lance, and eventually jeff even joined us. kevin wasn't in the mood to go out, so he stayed with kins and read her bedtime stories, brushed her teeth, and got her to bed. i never really go out anymore for a lot of reasons - among them not wanting to pay for a babysitter and enjoying an early bedtime that is sure to be followed by an early rise. but i have really enjoyed going out a couple of times over this break. it has been so great to hang out with people that i miss dearly and rarely get to see. i think it has also been really good for me to have some adult social interaction and conversation that is uninterrupted. i'm thankful that kevin encouraged me to get out and didn't even blink an eye at taking on the bedtime routine so that i could hang out with some friends.

thankful#59: easy tantrum fixes

tantrums can be both stressful and frustrating if we let them be. i'm thankful that, for the most part, both kinsley and dagny have very readable reasons for their meltdowns these days - if either of them start freaking out, being super agitated, or really emotional, it's almost always one of two things: they're tired or they're hungry. both are pretty easy fixes - sleep them or feed them! - and cure them of their foul moods and bring them back to the happy girls they are almost immediately. i'm thankful that the fix to their tantrums is so easy. it has made dealing with meltdowns much more bearable for us as parents and the girls aren't ever grumpy for long.

thankful#58: dance clubs

What? yes. i went out dancing tonight for the first time in as long as i can remember. and i went dancing. 90's night dancing. and i dressed the part. granted my outfit was not my picking, but it was fantastic. hot pink yoga pants, a shirt that IS a cat's face, and some sweet ass boots. it was a much needed night out and i'm so thankful that i decided to come out. now here's hoping that the girls sleep through and i feel okay in the morning ...

thankful#57

I'm thankful that I have a dad who understands me and who is compassionate.

thankful#56: extended family gatherings

It doesn't happen very often but we try at least once a year to get as many of the families on my mom's side together as possible. tonight it was 30 of us including 13 kids under 10. even though it seems difficult to finish a conversation without having to chase a toddler back to the area, it's always so great to see everyone. i'm pretty thankful that we're a close enough family to make the attempt.

thankful#55: close families

We are pretty lucky that our parents live only 20 minutes or so apart. We get to spend most holidays with both sides of the family. Even though it may seem a little crazy getting back and forth and figuring out the timing, it is pretty special for the girls to get to see everybody.

thankful#54: the spirit of christmas

kinsley melts my heart with her kindness. yes, she is crazy with energy and a little on the impulsive side, but what 3-year-old isn't? but something about her innocence just gets me. she is so passionate already as a tiny little human. watching her open presents at yaya and papa's today was priceless. and afterwards, watching her go up to each of them and give them huge hugs and say, "thank you for the presents, yaya and papa. i love you" made me so proud of her. she was so genuinely grateful. i can't wait for tomorrow morning for her to see that santa has come.

but with her passion comes great emotion. that kid has more emotion than a lot of adults that i know. it makes me nervous for the day that she starts questioning santa. i have a feeling that she will be absolutely traumatized if she is told that santa is not real. and that breaks my heart. but then i saw this letter posted on facebook written from a mom and dad to their son who questioned santa. this letter made me feel so much better about when that day comes for us. it provides such a beautiful explanation that is comprehendable to a child and yet doesn't break the child's spirit or make them feel as though everything has been a lie. it is about the true spirit of santa and christmas.

i'll be holding on to this one.

thankful#53: pictures with santa

we went to see santa today at pioneer place. kinsley was beyond excited while we were waiting in line. she wasn't quite as excited when she got closer to the front of the line and noticed that some of the other kids were crying as their parents set them on santa's lap and stepped away so the elves could take a picture. she didn't want to miss out on talking to him, but she didn't want to sit on his lap ... so she sat next to him and told him that she has been a pretty good girl this year and that she would like a ladybug girl doll and a bingo doll.

dagny was even less excited. it was going to be physically impossible to peel her off of my neck, let alone get her to sit on santa's lap. so i gave her the dang binky and held her in my lap to take the picture. i was NOT planning on being in this picture. i imagined that we would get a perfect shot of the two girls on santa's lap, smiling happily, like we did last year. this is what we got instead:

kinsley is making some ridiculous face as she realizes that i am bribing her to smile with a cookie later in the day. dagny wants absolutely nothing to do with the entire process. i am wearing the same clothes that i wore yesterday and didn't wash my hair after my run. poor santa is such a champ - smiling so kindly even though niether girl would agree to get too close. he was such a nice santa and did everything he could to make kinsley comfortable.

i was hesitant to purchase the picture. i didn't want to be in it, dagny has that dang binky in her mouth, and kinsley has had more photogenic moments. but i know that each of these pictures will remind me years from now of these moments. and, for that, i'm thankful.

thankful#52: yoga!

i went to yoga yesterday for the first time in a long time. i forgot how much i love it. we don't have a 24-hour-fitness in eugene and i can't afford to do drop-in classes. but i do so love getting my yogi on. i love the obvious physical benefits that come with the flows and dynamic stretching, but even more beneficial to me right now is the meditative benefits. it was so great to have an hour to relax and really focus on being present and to refocus myself in general. i left class feeling revived and, well, present! and what was even more fabulous was that it flowed over to my day today. i plan on doing as much yoga as i can while i'm in portland.

thankful#51: we're still here!

it seems pretty appropriate today to be thankful that we are still here. the world did not end.

thankful#50: that kinsley enjoys making dagny laugh

sometimes we luck out on our trips between portland and eugene and dagny sleeps from door to door. other times we aren't so lucky. dagny is not a fan of being strapped in her carseat and she lets us know that she's not happy about it. we have had a couple of trips that have been less than enjoyable when she wakes up earlier than we'd hoped for.

thankfully, kinsley is starting to enjoy exploring ways that she can make dagny laugh. it comes in handy, on trips like today's, when dagny doesn't nap the duration of the trip. kinsley pulled out all the stops today and had dagny giggling up a storm until we pulled up to our destination. dagny hardly even noticed that she'd been strapped down for two hours. these girls just keep getting better and better.

thankful#49:kevin is half done with law school!

kevin just turned in his last final for the semester, which marks the half-way point in this adventure ... pretty excited to have him home for almost a month with no real schedule. cheers to winter break!!!

thankful#48: reminders to just live

i've had another disappointing experience today but i'm trying to turn it into something positive - some sort of take-home lesson, if you will. twice now, i've had my hopes up for something potentially amazing, and twice now i've been disappointed. are my hopes too high? are my expectations unrealistic? is the whole thing a sham? i genuinely don't think so. but whatever the case may be, and i may never know, i've been mildly rocked.

but then small moments like these bring me back to the now.

dagny found a small blue stamp that she decided belonged on her face

this is where i need to stay. regardless of anything else that is going on, i need to be present for my girls - all of the big moments, but all of the small, seemingly insignificant moments as well.

these two brighten my day.

thankful#47: the opportunity for the girls to be exposed to different traditions

last week we were invited over for an evening at our friends' place to celebrate a night of hanukkah. abbey and tony had a menorah for each family and the kids got to choose and place the candles to be lit.

as they lit the three candles for that evening, abbey sang a beautiful prayer in hebrew

she then gave each of the girls a draidel and showed them how to spin it.

we may have a couple of gamblers on our hands ...

luckily, i don't think kinsley realized that the coins were actually made of chocolate

and even dagny got in on the fun.

we really are in a unique situation down here that is turning out to be such a blessing. thank you, abbey and tony, for bringing us all into your home and teaching us about a small part of your traditions!

thankful#46

thankful#46: that there ARE still so many things to be thankful for and there are genuinely good people in this world

so, i was really struggling with what to be thankful for today. i am having a hard time getting through my own day without thinking about how the parents and families of the victims of friday's tragedy are getting through theirs. the thought of never again being able to hold my child. the thought of never getting to hear her voice or her giggle again. the thought of never getting to see her grow up and become the woman that she is supposed to be. these thoughts give me so much pain. it brings me so much grief to think about losing one of my children. but i know that this grief is nothing compared to the unimaginable pain that these families are feeling. my hypothetical thoughts are their new realities. my children are sleeping safely in their beds tonight. i got to make them dinner, watch them run around our home like the energetic, giggly, crazy little girls that they are, i got to read them stories before bed, and i got to tuck them in and then peak in on them as they sleep peacefully. i am beyond thankful for that. but as thankful as i am, and as lucky as i know i am, it is so hard for me to not feel down. i can't help but hope for peace for those families, but also for the support that they have been shown the last couple of days to continue indefinitely. my fear for these families now is that the nation will move on and forget, that we will remember the horrible event by the young man who created it rather than those that were innocently taken. their families will never forget and neither should we. my heart hurts. my heart has been heavy ever since friday, seemingly non-stop. but at one point today i was reminded of a quote from the diary of anne frank. i couldn't remember the words (i'm actually surprised that i even thought about it - my memory is terrible with this sort of thing), but i knew it spoke to the situation in which we find ourselves. then i found this link to "26 moments that restored our faith in humanity this year." and ironically, someone in the comments quoted the exact words that i was trying to remember.

"It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart. I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation of confusion, misery, and death. I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too, I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that this cruelty too shall end, and that peace & tranquility will return once again."

this is just what i needed:
26 moments that restored our faith in humanity this year

there truly are wonderful people in this world.

thankful#45: family tree decorating

kinsley got to help yaya and papa decorate their christmas tree last weekend and this weekend she got to help gramma and baba do the same.

kinsley loves admiring all of the lights people put on their houses and businesses and she herself lights up at the idea of getting to help with christmas preparations and festivities.

it's so much fun to watch her pull the ornaments out of boxes and decide the perfect place on the tree to put them. even dagny helped this year.

 kinsley simply glows when we talk about all of the time we're going to be spending with family over the next couple of weeks and when i think about it i can't help but do the same. and in the wake of the events in the last couple of weeks, i'm feeling extra thankful that we get the opportunity to do so.

thankful#44: that i get to hug my children tonight

i am absolutely horrified by the events that took place this morning in connecticut. i am having such a hard time wrapping my brain around what happened and simply can't shake the images that i saw all afternoon as i watched the details unravel. my heart is broken beyond words. there are so many questions that, unfortunately, i don't think we will ever know the answers to. how completely terrifying and traumatic for those innocent children and beyond devastating for the parents. i can not even begin to imagine the pain that they are experiencing. when i try, i get physically ill and can't stop from crying. nobody in their right mind would do something like this and it is just out of my realm of understanding as to why this is the solution to someone's rock bottom. why does this even cross someone's mind as an option? i am at a loss. i have no words to justly describe my feelings about this horribly tragic event that will forever be an infamous part of this nation's history. there are so many worries that come with being a parent, but this should not be one of them. my heart goes out to the families that have been affected by the loss today. i am so so very thankful that i get another day to hold my children, that i can hug them and tell them how much i love them, that i can hear them giggle another day. but my heart aches in a deep way for those families that can't do the same.

thankful#43: craft parties with friends

kinsley has been very in to doing artsy projects lately, which i am sure comes from all of the fun things she's doing at school. we decided to have a little craft party with some of her friends, and i must say i've been looking forward to it ever since we sent the evite. i went a little crazy at Michael's last week (i could do some serious damage at that place and their dang coupons and sales make it even easier).

we ended up having six women and ten kids in our tiny apartment. it was tight. it was chaotic. it was super messy. but it was really fun. i had envisioned taking a bunch of pictures of the whole process. you know, kids all nicely at their little spots at the tables, ornament decorations neatly organized and easily accessible to the little hands politely reaching for them, moms sipping hot peppermint cocoa and adoringly looking on at their sweet angel children creating magical holiday decorations. turns out it's pretty difficult to get ten kids under five years old to convene around two tiny eating-turned-craft tables when there's toys to play with and dress-up clothes and a kitchen to pretend with. it's also not easy to keep any organization what-so-ever to supplies, especially when said supplies include things like stickers of all colors, sizes, shapes and sparkle, glue sticks, glitter, shiny pipe cleaners, and embelishments in tiny jars. i had also not given much thought to the fact that two of our lovely children are still at the age of putting anything and everything into their mouths (even though my darling dagny does it while looking straight at me with her eyebrows raised like, "i know you're going to try to take this from me so i'm going to take it and run in 3 ... 2... "). oh, and i forgot the hot cocoa all together. some hostest.

maebel was so focused

a tiny glimpse of the chaos, but most of the kids had already moved on to other toys at this point

i didn't manage to get more than a couple of pictures the whol afternoon, and they are very sub-par at most. but the kids seemed to enjoy themselves and they made some pretty cute little decorations.

and it was so nice to have an opportunity to hang out with some great ladies.

thankful#42: training logs

i've been using RunningAHEAD to log my workouts for quite some time now. i like being able to have my workouts laid out for me along with all of my stats. i like having graphs made for me based on those stats. i like that i can type in notes about each day's workout and look back at them later. i like that all of my PR's are kept track of. i like being able to keep track of mileage on my different shoes. i like that it's a quick entry and that i don't have to really think about any of it - i put in the day's information and the program just does it all for me. but all of those things are just luxuries. i could do all of that by hand if i really wanted to. what i am really thankful for is that it is one more way to hold myself accountable. it's sort of like a food log. i'm much more likely to skip the cookie if i know i have to write it down. i'm much more likely to add that extra interval or that extra mile to my run if i know i'm going to be logging it later.

happy 12/12/12

thankful#41: that i'm already signed up for another race

some days are harder to take those first steps out the front door than others. who wants to run in the windy, cold, rain? i told myself that i would let myself take a break after my last half to mentally recoup ... i really trained hard for that and was beginning to feel mentally burnt out by the end ... i would continue running for maintenance, but if i had a day that i didn't feel like running then i would allow myself to take that day. today would have been a day that would fall into that category. BUT i'm already signed up for another half. even though it's not until april, i've already committed myself to training even harder this time around. that means starting earlier and giving myself a longer training plan to build on.

looking out the window was daunting. i've become a bit of a running snob. not in the way of gear - i will run in anything as long as it's comfortable - but in the way of weather. i don't like running in the wind. at all. i don't like running on the sidewalks when i end up in puddles that hit my ankles. you would think in a place like eugene, "track town usa" for goodness sake, would have a better drainage system. i like running when it is crisp and cool. not hot. not windy. not sideways rainy. definitely not cold, windy, AND rainy. BUT i literally JUST taped up my training plan on the cabinet today. it was staring me in the face. so ... i did it. i got out there, froze my wrists off (that seems to be the first place affected and the most painful), and i ran. and i'm glad i did.

thankful#40: dagny likes avocado!

i have tried for months to get dagny to eat avocado. it's one of kinsley's absolute favorite things to eat, but dagny always acts like it's the most horribly disgusting thing i could offer her. but tonight ... success. she finally loved it.

thankful#39: tamara

on our way back in to town today, as always, we drove by the gateway mall in springfield. every time i see this mall i am reminded of tamara. that was the first place we met.

i knew her for a very short time but i am forever grateful for that time. tamara was the first person i met when we moved to eugene. in fact, she emailed me before we even got here to introduce herself and tell me we should get together. she offered to show me around eugene and told me that her little man was about the same age as kinsley. i was a little nervous to be moving away from our family and friends to a place where we knew very few people. but tamara's email took some of that anxiety away. it was such a kind gesture and really gave me the feeling of, "okay. we WILL meet people and i WILL make friends here."

we got together for the first time on november 30th, 2011. it was a horribly rainy day so we brought the kids to the play area to run some of their energy out. kinsley and grayson took to each other almost immediately. they ran their little hearts out and actually talked to each other while they played. it was so neat to watch them - at just over 2 years old it was more usual for them to play alongside other kids, but they were actually playing TOGETHER.

while the kids played, tamara and i had coffee and just talked. we found out very quickly that we had a lot in common. we were married on the same day (along with a million other couples, but that's beside the point!). grayson and kinsley were born within two weeks of each other. we both loved animals. grayson came over at one point and said, "we have two horses. their names are spydey and topaz." the look on tamara's face was that of such a proud mama. grayson talks just as much as kinsley does! we both really enjoyed running and had done multiple half marathons. tamara talked about all of the places around eugene that we could go running together. we talked about training for the eugene half coming up in april. we talked about our kids. grayson and kinsley both love humus and eat it by the spoonful. we talked about christmas. tamara suggested that we go shopping for the holidays together. she said it's always nice to shop with someone, but it's just a different world shopping with a kid and it would be nice to have someone to share that with - people without children just don't quite get it the same way. and we both loved wine :) we talked for probably two hours while the kids played. we had only just met, but i already felt like we were going to be great friends. how could we not be?

on january 13th, 2012, this world lost a beautiful person. tamara made such an impact on me in the short time i knew her that i can not even begin to imagine the loss that her family and other friends feel. there are so many things that remind me of her - different trails around eugene, anytime i see a horse, every time we see grayson (which is often - we have swimming at the Y twice a week and see him in his classroom). i can't help but think about all of the things we talked about doing together. i can't help but feel an immense loss - like i'm missing out on an amazing friendship and there's nothing that i can do about it. we have had the chance to get together with colin and grayson on a number of occasions. it makes me so happy to be involved with her family, though it saddens me that she is not there to physically be a part of it. but grayson is the spitting image of his mama - it's hard not to think that part of her is there with us during those times. the first time we had colin and grayson over for dinner i overheard grayson tell kinsley, "my mama is an angel up in heaven." kinsley responded, "your mama's an angel?" and he said, "yeah." it was such a sweet, pure moment. i know that grayson feels his mama's presence with him.

while i wish that i had more time with her, had the chance to get to know her better, and had the opportunity to build the friendship i know we would have had, i am so grateful that she came into my life when she did. my heart continues to go out to those who loved and continue to love her. she clearly impacted so many lives and i am thankful to have been given the chance to be a minuscule part of that.

thankful#38: bradley d!

bradley and i at hoopfest 2006 (ish?)

today my dear friend brad turns 32. i am a true believer that everyone who enters my life is there for a reason, no matter how big or seemingly insignificant. brad definitely falls into the former category. i could turn this post into multiple posts very quickly as there are so many things about brad that i am thankful for. i am thankful that we met when we did. i am thankful for the people that we introduced each other to. i am thankful that through him i have made some lifelong friends who i now consider family. i am thankful that brad found megan and that she is an amazing woman who understands him, challenges him, and loves him for who he is.

:)

 i am thankful for brad because he made me a stronger person - more patient, a better listener, a better friend. we have gone through a lot over the last 12 years and i wouldn't change the good or the bad. you have seen me at my highs and at my very very lows and i am thankful that we are still friends after it all.

love you, dear dear friend. have a glorious 33rd year, bradley d.

thankful#37: safe travels

the girls and i made the trip up to portland again so kevin could study all weekend for his finals. the weather was absolutely rotten - so windy the car shook, so much rain i could barely see even with the wipers on full throttle - and some of the other cars on the road were not exactly driving for the conditions. it always makes for a nerve-wracking drive when the conditions suck & the girls are both awake and talking/yelling/singing. a white-knuckle drive, but we made it here safely and are now enjoying a relaxing evening with yaya and papa.

thankful#36: that the sun came out just when i needed it most

i had a pretty disappointing experience this morning and felt like crawling back into my bed and sleeping through the rest of the day -- that's obviously not an option with two small girls who need me, but it was difficult to think about how i was going to get through the next 9 hours -- kevin had the girls for a little bit, which gave me a chance to just sit with my thoughts -- just as i was about to go climb into bed (yes, i almost did it - just until they got home!), the sun came out full force -- something about it momentarily lifted my spirits -- and it lasted just long enough to get me outside to the front walk -- it was freezing cold, but beautiful - fall colors, crisp air, a few wispy clouds with the sun shining bright

i still had some rough moments today, but for some reason that was just what i needed in that moment to stay on my feet

thankful#35

thankful#35: that i was raised to be accepting of all people regardless of gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation

there was a post on FOX 12 OREGON's facebook page today about whether or not we should "follow suit" with washington and legalize gay marriage --- while reading some of the comments people were leaving, i could just feel my blood starting to boil -- i don't understand, for a second, how people can be so intolerant and judgemental and feel good about what they are doing/saying/teaching/preaching -- i just don't understand why people feel the need to judge others so deeply -- fine if you don't agree with same-sex marriage -- fine if you think it's immoral for whatever reason -- but who are you to tell another person who they can and cannot love? why do you care if two men who love each other unconditionally are recognized as a married couple? how does that possible affect your life? how can it possibly be a negative thing for two loving women, in a committed relationship, to raise a child in a loving home where that child is taught love and acceptance of other people? what happened to love and commitment being the important factors in marriage and family? what happened to moving for equal rights for all human beings? why use religion as another basis for hatred? there is a reason church and state are supposed to be separate -- not all people belong to the same religion, not all people believe in the same god, not all people HAVE a religion or believe in ANY god -- should those people not have the same rights? if public schools can't teach religion, and people are hell-bent on keeping it that way, then why are some of those same people pushing to have their beliefs be held as governmental law?

live your life as a good person -- be kind -- treat people with respect even when they don't have the same beliefs as you -- don't hate --  and if you believe in a god, why not leave the judging to "him"?

thankful#34: the ergo

dagny slept in this morning, which felt like a blessing at first -- within an hour, however,  she was acting anything but rested -- she was rubbing her fist on her gums, rubbing her eyes, and clinging to my neck -- she kept nodding off in my arms while we sat on the couch, but when i would lay her down in her crib she would immediately flip over, grab for me, and start crying - not like her at all

on and off throughout the day she would have a fever - anywhere from 100 degrees to just slightly above 103 degrees, which would then drop back down to normal followed by a small window of her acting with some semblance of herself - and by that i mean that she would smile when kinsley tried to make her laugh, she would take a few bites of a snack, or let me change her diaper -- throughout the entire day, though, all she wanted was to be held -- i couldn't put her down to so much as use the bathroom -- even changing her clothes was too much - it was a jammies day for miss dagny - and a hold-me-all-day day for her, too

thank god for the ergo! we rigged that thing up at about 10 in the morning, and it didn't come off until about 6 in the evening -- so nice to be able to hold her and keep her close and cuddle with her while still being able to use my hands to do other things -- obviously household things were put on hold, i was not worried about cleaning up the toys or doing the dishes -- but kinsley still needed some love - she obviously needed to eat and drink and she needed a little bit of help getting dressed and brushing her hair -- these are all things that i'm sure i could have handled one-handed while holding dagny, but it is much easier to accomplish them with the use of both hands -- it's also much more comfortable for dagny to be snug against me than to be jostled around and shifted here and there as i try to help kinsley or make her a sandwich -- we still managed to get outside for some fresh air and exercise, too -- we bundled up, put on our rainboots, got the umbrellas, and walked to the store -- with dagny close and warm in the ergo i was still able to hold the umbrella and kinsley's hand (the stroller was not an option for dagny today - while it's cozy in there, that's just not the same as being held) -- kinsley was a trooper all day and didn't complain at all when we had to miss swimming AND her playdate with her school friends to let dagny rest

thank you, ergo! not that it was the ergo, specifically - any carrier would have done the job -- hell, i'm sure i could have rigged up a sheet to hold her close for the day -- but we received the ergo as a hand-me-down from my cousins and that thing has maybe had the most use of any other hand-me-down -- thank you, matt and michele!!!

and dagny is feeling much better -- we all had our elderberry syrup, we put a little bit of thyme essential oil in the humidifier in the living room, and by the end of dinner both girls were doing laps around the apartment --- a typical evening in the cave cave

thankful#33: the way that people band together in times of need

a few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine from college received some devastating news -- his little girl was diagnosed with AML leukemia -- on wednesday, october 17 she turned 4 years old and the following wednesday she started chemotherapy treatments -- her schedule of treatments is 4 sessions of 28-day treatments at the hospital with a week break in between if all goes as planned

i can't even begin to imagine what they are going through -- it absolutely breaks my heart to think about watching one of my girls have to go through what sweet little marleigh will be going through over the next 5 months -- that being said, there has been an outpouring of support for both marleigh and her family -- i imagine that knowing people are thinking about you, praying for you, sending positive energy/vibes/thoughts your way would be one of the ways you get through a journey like this -- words of encouragement and support, while only words, likely give at least short moments of eased pain

fundraisers are being held to help with the financial burden that comes along with a diagnosis like this (as if the emotional and physical stresses aren't hard enough) -- everything from t-shirt and bracelet sales to proceeds at the local taco bell will help -- i got my bracelets today!

the family set up a page with marleigh's story -- it is also a place people can go to make donations to her cause

check it out HERE

i know that if i were the one going through this, i would rely tremendously on the emotional support of family, friends, and even strangers who show compassion -- i am so thankful that this family is getting the support that they are

while i am not in a place financially to donate as much as i would like, i know that every dollar is one less dollar that this family has to worry about - it is one less dollar of stress that weighs on them - it gives them one more opportunity to focus on what is really important right now: being there for their little girl -- there is a long road that lies ahead -- and everyone banding together, we are making a miracle for marleigh

thankful#32: papa!

today is dad's 66th birthday! what a special man -- i've always felt a special connection to my dad

i remember when i was little - maybe 4 or 5 years old? - we were at disneyland and i wasn't feeling well -- i can't even remember what the ailment was, maybe a sore throat or tummy ache?, but i do remember my dad holding me -- we went to the dumbo ride, which was one of my favorites, and even though i wasn't up for actually riding it, he sat there holding me and we watched it go around and around -- we then walked over to the fountain and he threw in a nickel and wished out loud for me to feel better

dad, back in the day, being a stud out on the lake

i've always thought my dad was one of the smartest people i know -- he's one of those guys that is (and i say this in the most endearing way possible) an encyclopedia of useless information :) have a question that seems random and odd? ask my dad, he'll probably know the answer -- we've never really been sure where he gets the information, and for much of it neither does he,  but it is a rare occasion that his answer is "i don't know"

in addition to his plethora of random tidbits, my dad is a wealth of very useFUL information, too -- i can't even count the number of times i've had a medical question - everything from what to do when my cat got attacked by a raccoon to the best way to take care of kevin's puncture wound that he refused to go to the doctor for -- we've always had a built-in doctor in the family and we're pretty lucky

looking handsome on his wedding day

i think this latest adventure has been my favorite yet: seeing him play the role of papa -- it melts my heart to see him light up when kinsley or dagny walk in the room -- kinsley was so lucky to get to spend every morning with him when kevin and i left for work as well as one full day each week -- if she woke up before we left, we would see her creep out of her room and around the corner until she made eye contact with him, then she would yell "papa!" and run to him giggling -- dagny now gets equally excited to see him even though it is not as frequent -- i am so thankful that my girls have a relationship with their papa --- and even though he has his rough days, doesn't always feel well, and can't always play as actively as they may like, he never fails to make sure those girls - and all of his family - know how much they mean to him and how much he loves them

here is dad's first proud moment as papa (kinsley - august 9, 2009)

and a similar moment when dagny was born (september 26, 2011)

papa with dagny fresh out of the bath

one of my all-time favorite picture sequences -- sheer joy :)

and introducing dagny to his world at the cabin

happy happy birthday to a loving husband, fantastic father, and amazing papa -- i am so thankful for you

thankful#31: quick trips

eugene to portland is just under two hours (if i'm driving), which makes it so convenient to make a trip up for a weekend -- kevin went to california for the california international marathon this weekend, so the girls and i headed north to hang out with papa for his birthday -- i'm so glad that we live close enough to make these trips and to spend special occassions with family

thankful#30

(originally posted on november 30, 2012)

Thankful#30: whoever had the idea of 30 thankful days of november. i dont usually partake completely in stuff like that - (not because i don't see the value in it, i just tend to be more private) especially via facebook - but i'm so glad i did. it really helped me to recognize & appreciate all of the little things in my life that i'm so thankful for.

thankfu#29: kevin, of course

(originally posted on november 29, 2012)

Thankful#29: kevin, of course. so proud of how hard he's working. and on top of being insanely busy with law school, & being on this board & that association, he still makes the extra effort to come home to hang out with the girls & me - even if it's only an hour for lunch. he also finds a chunk in his schedule to allow me to run, too, because he knows it's important to my sanity. not to mention his own training. he's running yet another marathon this weekend (i think this makes 20!?). he's pretty amazing in so many ways. so proud, so lucky, & so thankful.

thankful#28: my blendtec

(originally posted on november 28, 2012)

Thankful#28: my blendtec. i didn't think i'd put anything material on here, but my blendtec really has helped to make eating healthy, & the girls' involvement in it, even easier. i hit the milestone 100 mark today. the thing keeps track of how many cycles it runs (not every pulse, but every smoothie or batter or whatever). we've only had it for two months. we use the thing every single day & often 2-3x. the girls help me make every smoothie (dagny even likes to take handfuls of spinach & smash it into the jar) & every batch of muffins, bread, & even soup. this silly thing has made it a family affair. i think that's the part i'm thankful for.

thankful#27: access to a pool

(originally posted on november 27, 2012)

Thankful#27: access to a swimming pool. we are not getting the same type of lessons as we had in pdx (which we miss like CRAZY), but what we learned in the way of water safety for infants/toddlers was invaluble... i am so thankful to have had the time we did with amazing instructors. & I am so thankful to have access to a pool so that i can at least attempt to teach dagny what kinsley has learned... it doesn't hurt that my kids are fish.

thankful#26: doodle bug - 14 months

(originally posted on november 26, 2012)

Thankful#26: doodle bug. 14 months old today. love her to pieces & am so thankful for every minute with her.

thankful#25: a few incredible friends

(originally posted on november 25, 2012)

thankful #25: a few incredible friends. there is a handful of people that i consider truly CLOSE friends and i am immensely grateful for them -- today i am particularly thankful.

thankful#24: walks in the rain with the girls

(originally posted on november 24, 2012)

Thankful#24: walks in the rain with the girls. i love them & i love that the girls love them.

thankful#23: lazy days

(originally posted on november 23, 2012)

Thankful#23: lazy days. not that there's really such a thing with these two girls, but today we came about as close as we could get. and we definitely didn't partake in any of the craziness that is black friday. we stayed home, read books, colored, danced to some holiday music, ate some leftovers, danced some more, and loved it.

thankful#22: family

(originally posted on november 22, 2012)

Thankful#22: family. even though i miss my side of the family when we dont see them on a holiday, i feel pretty lucky to have in-laws that i very much enjoy spending time with. im crazy thankful for all of the support our families have given us - always but especially in the past year & a half with all of the major changes we've had. i would go insane without you all.

thankful#21: baby communication

(originally posted on november 21, 2012)

Thankful#21: baby communication. I do love each stage of baby for different reasons ... but it is SO nice when they start actually communicating. Not only is it much less stressful for all parties when they can tell you what they want, but it's pretty dang cute when little tiny humans talk. Today's conversation with Dagny as we were deciding which fruit to eat...
me: which one would you like? banana or apple?
dagny: ummmmmmmm dat (pointing to banana)
me:you want the banana?
dagny: ummmmmm yeeeah (nodding her head & signing "please")

can't help but smile


& added later that day:

i just reread this post & realized how corny it was to post that conversation, like dagny had something super meaningful to say --- one of those "had to be there" moments, i guess -- it was much cuter when she said it than it is to read it!

thankful#20: teething is temporary

(originally posted on november 20, 2012)

Thankful#20: teething is temporary... even though it seems like it isn't.

thankful#19: kinsley conversations

(originally posted on november 19, 2012)

Thankful#19: kinsley conversations. so curious. so many questions. she makes me think about things in ways i otherwise wouldn't. so clever. she makes me laugh. a lot. & she makes me stop & smell the flowers. literally. so thankful.

thankful#18: family support at races

(originally posted on november 19, 2012) -- somehow missed actually posting on the 18th

Thankful#18: family support. yaya & the girls were out on the course cheering yesterday & it gave me just the boost i needed @ the halfway point. kevin finished his 10k & ran out to meet me & run me in the last 3.5 miles. i have the best family.

thankful#17: yaya visits

(originally posted on november 17, 2012)

Thankful#17: yaya

thankful#16: clean laundry hour

(originally posted on november 16, 2012)

Thankful#16: the hour or so that all of the laundry is clean. i get longer than the typical 15minutes today because i stripped them down to their undies ... so i could enjoy it just a little longer.

thankful#15: done with training

(originally posted on november 15, 2012)

thankful#15: done with my training. as kevin says, "the hay is in the barn". here's hoping all my hard work pays off on sunday.

thankful#14: the girls' love of books

(originally posted on november 14, 2012)

Thankful#14: the girls' love of books. we spent 2 hours at the library today & would have stayed longer if we didn't get hungry! we brought 14 books home & have already read them all.

thankful#13: amazing luck -- no ER

(originally posted on november 13, 2012)

thankful#13: amazing luck - i have no idea how we have yet to take a trip to the ER with either of these crazy children ----- knock on wood

thankful#12: kindness of strangers

(originally posted on november 12, 2012)

Thankful#12: the kindness of strangers. i was clearly struggling to get our costco load into the already-full back of the car with kinsley tired and anxious, dagny squirming to get out of the ergo, & my head and throat pounding. the man next to us walked over, started unloading our cart and helping me get it all to fit. he then took our cart to the return for me. such a small act but he has no idea the impact it had on my day today

i forgot to mention that it was raining as well. and before we even went in to costco the same gentleman insisted on holding my umbrella for me while i got the girls out of the car. such a kind person.

thankful#11: new friends to run with - melissa

(originally posted on november 11, 2012)

thankful#11: new friends to run with! congratulations melissa on your first race of many more to come :) what a great way to start your birthday and your new year!

thankful#10

(originally posted on november 10, 2012)

Thankful#10: that the days that these two enjoy playing TOGETHER are becoming more common.

thankful#9: a warm home

(originally posted on november 9, 2012)

Thankful#9: a warm home.

thankful#8: kids' healthy habits

(originally posted on november 8, 2012)

Thankful#8: kids that genuinely enjoy healthy habits. no struggle necessary to get them to be active or eat right.

thankful#7: little hands

(originally posted on november 7, 2012)

Thankful#7: little hands that like to be held.

thankful#6: friends that don't always agree

(originally posted on november 6, 2012)

Thankful#6: friends that don't always agree! i refuse to talk politics in any form on facebook, but i've enjoyed (i use that term lightly) "listening" to all of the conversations surrounding the elections -- these elections have given me some new insight into the people that i am friends with. everyone has their own opinions and hopefully they're based on their own life experiences - different experiences give people different priorities and even very different perspectives on the same issues. i can respect views that are different than my own when they're educated and genuine. the beauty of it is that we're still going to be friends.

thankful#5: pictures

(originally posted november 5, 2012)

thankful#5: pictures. i've been trying to get caught up on getting all of my pictures into albums. i'm finally up to dagny's birth. i'm thankful for these pictures for the obvious reason that they bring back wonderful memories, but i'm also thankful for them because they are a great reminder of how fast these girls are growing and changing! these pictures are a reminder to look at my girls closely, pay attention to EVERYTHlNG, and appreciate where they are right now because tomorrow they'll be a little different than they are today.

thankful#4

(originally posted november 4, 2012)

Thankful #4: these 2 faces. i cant help but smile when i look at them.

thankful#3: dagny's 4th tooth

(originally posted november 3, 2012)

Thankful #3: Dagny's 4th tooth. Finally something to show for all that drool & smashing of her fists on her gums!

thankful#2: preschool teachers!

(originally posted november 2, 2012)

thankful #2: preschool teachers! kinsley is having such a great experience and i give the credit to miss ali - they are not only doing the typical painting and playing things, but they're actually learning - kinsley comes home every day talking about things we've never heard her talk about and then says, "we learned that at school" :)

thankful#1: great grandmas!

(originally posted on november 1, 2012)

thankful #1: great grandmas! grandma billie comes every tuesday and thursday to hang out with kinsley or dagny while the other one has swim lessons - so special for them to be able to have consistent quality time with her!