thankful#46

thankful#46: that there ARE still so many things to be thankful for and there are genuinely good people in this world

so, i was really struggling with what to be thankful for today. i am having a hard time getting through my own day without thinking about how the parents and families of the victims of friday's tragedy are getting through theirs. the thought of never again being able to hold my child. the thought of never getting to hear her voice or her giggle again. the thought of never getting to see her grow up and become the woman that she is supposed to be. these thoughts give me so much pain. it brings me so much grief to think about losing one of my children. but i know that this grief is nothing compared to the unimaginable pain that these families are feeling. my hypothetical thoughts are their new realities. my children are sleeping safely in their beds tonight. i got to make them dinner, watch them run around our home like the energetic, giggly, crazy little girls that they are, i got to read them stories before bed, and i got to tuck them in and then peak in on them as they sleep peacefully. i am beyond thankful for that. but as thankful as i am, and as lucky as i know i am, it is so hard for me to not feel down. i can't help but hope for peace for those families, but also for the support that they have been shown the last couple of days to continue indefinitely. my fear for these families now is that the nation will move on and forget, that we will remember the horrible event by the young man who created it rather than those that were innocently taken. their families will never forget and neither should we. my heart hurts. my heart has been heavy ever since friday, seemingly non-stop. but at one point today i was reminded of a quote from the diary of anne frank. i couldn't remember the words (i'm actually surprised that i even thought about it - my memory is terrible with this sort of thing), but i knew it spoke to the situation in which we find ourselves. then i found this link to "26 moments that restored our faith in humanity this year." and ironically, someone in the comments quoted the exact words that i was trying to remember.

"It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart. I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation of confusion, misery, and death. I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too, I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that this cruelty too shall end, and that peace & tranquility will return once again."

this is just what i needed:
26 moments that restored our faith in humanity this year

there truly are wonderful people in this world.