thankful#44: that i get to hug my children tonight

i am absolutely horrified by the events that took place this morning in connecticut. i am having such a hard time wrapping my brain around what happened and simply can't shake the images that i saw all afternoon as i watched the details unravel. my heart is broken beyond words. there are so many questions that, unfortunately, i don't think we will ever know the answers to. how completely terrifying and traumatic for those innocent children and beyond devastating for the parents. i can not even begin to imagine the pain that they are experiencing. when i try, i get physically ill and can't stop from crying. nobody in their right mind would do something like this and it is just out of my realm of understanding as to why this is the solution to someone's rock bottom. why does this even cross someone's mind as an option? i am at a loss. i have no words to justly describe my feelings about this horribly tragic event that will forever be an infamous part of this nation's history. there are so many worries that come with being a parent, but this should not be one of them. my heart goes out to the families that have been affected by the loss today. i am so so very thankful that i get another day to hold my children, that i can hug them and tell them how much i love them, that i can hear them giggle another day. but my heart aches in a deep way for those families that can't do the same.